Made in Roath 2016

Made in Roath 2016

Monday 31 October 2016

Halloween tale of terror

Made in Roath 2016, Halloween tale of terror: 

No one would believe that in the last months of 2016 human affairs were being observed and scrutinised by minds not of this Earth. Our actions and aspirations were under inspection in ways that our minds would find inconceivable. No indication was given that as people watched the endless dramas of reality TV, that their own activities were being watched, judged and followed by beings alien to us. Few, if any, considered life in the solar system but intellects advanced in ways of science that we are too cavemen followed our days with keen interest and slowly and surely they scheduled their designs against us.

  It was a Sunday night when the great disillusionment began. I was sat at my lodgings aimlessly spending an evening viewing cat vines on youtube when a thunderous explosion and a tremendous crash shock my humble Roath dwelling. Bewildered I hurried to the window and perceived a strange glow radiating from the direction of Roath Park. I hurriedly checked twitter only to discover a meteor hitting the lake was trending (#roathmeteor) . Bored at home and keen for entertainment I grabbed a coat and rushed to the park. As I began to draw closer a large crowd was already gathering. I bumped into a friend, Ogilvy, an astronomer. He preceded to describe to me the ball of fire and rock that had fallen from the sky striking the very centre of the lake. As we chatted more and more people crowded around, eager to see the crash. It was now dark and apart from the occasional ripple of a swan, the water was now still. Not a trace of the meteor was visible apart from a strange green glow from the waters surface. 

  Becoming increasingly bored Ogilvy and I deiced to take a selfie before retiring to a public house. While discussing which instagram filter to use we became aware of a rumbling noise which proceeded to increase in volume. Stranger still the surface of the lake began to shine with an eerie, unearthly green glow. Curious, the crowds grew closer to the lake keen to tweet and hashtag these strange developments. Then, without warning, a tremendous horn followed by a large quickening wave rose from the centre of the lake. Stranger still I noticed the swans, normally ever present on the lake, had suddenly disappeared. Not a sign of wildlife could be seen. 
From the centre of the lake, I saw a large oval shape emerging from the water. Aghast. I watched mesmerised.  The object kept rising to reveal a rounded ball of shining metal with a green oval ring in its centre. The thing kept rising and was now seen to be supported upon three ever growing legs of some thin straw like construction. Fully risen it towered over us and the lake. Taller than the surrounding trees. It stood regarding us. Lake water dripped from it’s moon drenched metalic frame. 

Another deafening horn blast rang out. The green ring began to glow. A sense of foreboding came over me, a premonitions of immediate disaster. I turned and began to run. Something in my flight spread to the crowd. Others began to turn. More and more joining my dash. The green glow, brighter now than ever before. From its disk like centre a beam shot straight out. Hitting the Roath Park clock tower. Covering the building in the same eerie green glow before flashing white, leaving nothing in its place. The clock tower had vanished.
 The green ray shone again. Turning on the public toilets, cars and anything else it could reach. Everything that fell into the rays path vanished. The invading machine (for an invasion must certainly be what this was) began to move forward with surprising speed. Within a moment it had raised itself up from the lake and began to stride down the street, spreading terror as it headed for the city centre.
  Word had quickly spread and some attempt at halting the machine had been made. The authorities raised what arms they could but to little effect. It was bows and arrows against a tank. As the invader reached the corner of Albany Road, leaving behind it a path of disappearance, it halted and once again its terrible horn spoke, sending alarm and horror into the streets. It was as if all the learning and innovations of mankind over the last four thousand years amounted to nothing against this awful monster. Disappear and fear began to spread before the creatures movements. A great flight had begun. But just then, as all hope appeared lost redemption sped towards us. In the black grey waters of Cardiff bay, a mile from the creatures terror, our salvation, the Thunderchild entered the fray…… 



Of all her Majesty's Ships the Thunderchild, the newest and largest frigate of the Royal Navy had by serendipity or fate, been only a few miles away when the creature first struck, alarmed at the initial reports it had powered to the city to provide what assistance it could. Now as the creature stood on the corner of Albany Road, the Thunderchild locked onto its radar signature and within moments had fired a deadly salvo of kraken missiles at the metal beast. These to any mortal creature would mean certain death but there was no telling how this bombardment would, if it could effect the monster.    

The Kraken’s speed across the rooftops of the city and like a bird of pray upon its quarry they slammed into that shining round circular head sending the creature to everyones great surprise stumbling backwards. The creature swayed in the air for a moment before crashing down to earth, falling backwards into the street, crushing everything underneath it’s falling path. With this the rain of terror and destruction was over, the monster had been slain and as we thought, that was the end of that. Of course we were wrong.

 I was fortunate enough to see the creatures end, having legged it from the park but to my shock discover myself to be on Albany Road at the final moment. I of course took a few selfies with the remains before the area was cordoned off by the authorities. At this point and exhausted at the chain of events I preceded home to my logins for a cup of tea and a jammy dodger, living but one street away it was a short walk. Upon entering my home I was surprised to find a pool of water upon my hallway floor. Oh I grumbled “is there not a house in Roath without a damp problem” I wondered, dismayed by this I entered my front room without turning on a light in fear of shorting out the electrics and absentmindedly checked twitter only to discover the #alienescapedfromcrash trending. Bewildered by this I sat down in an arm chair turning on a lamp. It was then I saw it, for it being the best word to describe the thing opposite me. In my front room a pale green thing regarded me with perishing cold eyes. It was around human size with a large balled head in size and shape to a large football with three green eyes staring straight at me. Below its head a body of undesirable shape and size protruded two small arms with claw like hands and behind these six bent spider like legs. Terrified I sat there, unable to move, frozen to the spot. Just then the thing leaped forward through the air. I fell backwards into my chair, the creature pinning me there. It lowered its head down closer to mine and looking into my eyes its large gapping mouth opened showing razor sharp, gleaming teeth. I honestly believed my end had come and unable to move I readied myself for my fate.    
  “How did I do?” the creature asked excitedly. I was shocked at this, surprised as to be not being eaten. I couldn't reply I was still frozen with terror.
“Well how did I do? was it dramatic enough, I could of gone on a bit longer but was concerned about being interrupted by an Ad Break”.
“Right okay” I finally managed to stutter back “You were fine, very dramatic” I said bewildered by this.
“Oh thank you” said the monster easing up and allowing me to unpin myself from the chair. “So do you think I can now have a returning part in the show?”  the creature asked eagerly.
 Finally some sense came back to me and something in the creatures friendly tone comforted me to ask “Im so sorry but what are you taking about?”.
 The creature looked taken aback by this and replied “for your program, reality TV, I am of course a big fan. I would love to be on the show and thought an epic and dramatic landing would surely get me on”.
“What show” I blurted out
“Made in Crawley, of course” the creature replied
My mind suddenly brought up images of some reality TV program which was becoming popular upon the box, I believed it followed the same formate as all the others, I realised what had happened in a flash. “Oh, no, I think you have been mistaken, we are Made in Roath not Made in Crawley, thats near London somewhere, this is Cardiff, if you like Im sure I can get you directions?”
 “Oh I am most terrible sorry” the creature replied with a very caring tone “I must of entered the wrong information in to my SatGav”
“SatGav?” I inquired
 “Yes its like your SatNav but its called Gav”
“Well its very easily done” I replied thinking about the time my Satnav had driven me into a river “Happens to the best of us, technology aye”
“Quite so, quite so, cant beat a good map” the creature agreed.
  The strange creature from outer space seemed very friendly and so I invited him for tea and since it wasn't every day you get an alien from a distance planet in your front room, we had some after eight mints too.  
       The creature who's name was Phil preceded to tell me how with all our TV signals being sent into space that earth programming had become very popular in the sola system and he was a big fan, especially with Made in Crawley and decided to see if he could do a cameo. We had a good chat at which point he informed me that all the things the vanishing ray had vanished would reappear shortly having not been destroyed but simply moved into another dimension through a phase shifting technology that was developed by home removal companies on his home world and his walking machine was not really damaged just parked. At this point I felt compelled to tell him of the high rate of parking fines in the city at which he ran off to move his craft before it got ticketed. He was a lovely chap, we are still Facebook friends.

 So ends the strange tale of the Made in Roath 2016 Halloween tale of terror (for parking tickets are very terrifying) Happy Halloween and have a great night.

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